Hello, Monday {Blog/Writing}

Hello Blog

Last week I (and probably you) encountered a lot of recap posts from bloggers who attended the popular Alt Summit conference in Salt Lake City.  After reading about the speakers, the parties, and viewing photos of lovely, well-groomed and straight-haired attendees, I admit to wondering (again) about the point of my own blog.

I started it a long time ago, just as an outlet to share some thoughts and images about books and decorating projects around my house, plus some occasional asides about my children and life in general. Lately, the blog focuses more on our weekend getaways, a few decor projects, and the occasional book review. And the kids, and life in general.

My secret hope at the core of all this oversharing has always been connection & community: finding new contacts and like-minded souls, maybe even a true friend (or two).  I personally haven't found that "community" that other bloggers often gush about. Connections & community are the buttercream frosting, the good stuff that makes all those hours with your bum in the chair worthwhile. Or so I've heard.

I need to make my peace with the fact that, several years into blogging, the community thing has failed to happen for me. Or to put it more bluntly....blogging just might not be my thang.

Hello, Writing
But writing? Writing, that self-reflective, solitary, isolated occupation? That is my thang. Totally.  But, I can't Facebook it, Twitter it, share cool, well-composed photos of it. All I can do is...do it.  Or not.

But either way. I think it's time to stop thinking of myself as a "blogger."

No, I'm not going anywhere. Not shutting down the blog, not at all.  The change is all up here, in my head. Thinking of myself as a blogger, trying to grow my readership and find my elusive community, provided me with an excuse to log in hundreds and hundreds of hours sitting at my desk last year.

Detail of Typist photo above my desk

I'm tired of doing that. Tired of living vicariously through other blogs, tired of checking stats that never change, tired of leaving chirpy comments in hopes of...what? Winning a new purse, a gift card, or hoping some other hapless soul might follow my link back here?  Bah.

Hello Airlines,
In light of all that, despite or because or whatever, I signed up for a writing retreat taking place in Washington state next month. I'm kinda terrified of the whole thing: meeting new people, committing myself (financially, if nothing else) so deeply to the memoir I started writing two years ago.  And flying solo, navigating my way through airline terminals and public transit to reach my destination in the mountains outside Seattle. Yikes.

But I'm doing my online research and hope to purchase my plane tickets this week. I haven't flown in years, and haven't travelled so far, all by myself, since before I was married.   

Change is in the air. Or at least I hope so, because this? This commitment to an idea that has yet to give anything concretely positive back to me? This isn't working. 


Linking up with Lisa Leonard for Hello, Mondays.